Why Change Fails

Change doesn't happen through debate alone. It happens when we intentionally create the conditions where people can move together.

Here's what that looks like in practice:

1️⃣ Name What's Actually at Stake

Most conflicts aren't about the surface issue. They're about deeper misalignments we haven't named yet.

In our board meeting, the All-Star debate wasn't really about "player vote vs. coach selection."

It was about:

The move: Before you design a solution, design the question.

Ask: "What are we actually trying to solve for here?"

Not the symptom. The system.

2️⃣ Design Who's in the Room (and When)

Not every conversation needs everyone.

Some decisions require the full group. Others need a smaller team to do the upstream framing work first.

The distinction matters:

When you try to do both simultaneously with everyone, you get thrash; chaotic debate, circular conversations, emotional shrapnel.

The move: Create a working group to frame the problem, then bring clear options back to the full group for decision.

This isn't about excluding voices. It's about designing the handoff so everyone can contribute at the right stage.

3️⃣ Make the Shift Feel Obvious, Safe, and Urgent

People don't adopt new behaviors because they understand every detail.

They do it because something in their environment signals that movement is expected, rewarded, and safe.

Your audience needs to feel:

The move: Instead of pushing harder, zoom out.

Ask: "What would make this shift feel obvious to the people I'm trying to serve?"

Then design those conditions.

📌 Remember: You rarely debate your way to getting everyone on the same page. You have to build the conditions where alignment becomes possible.

Here's a trap a lot leaders fall into:

They think their job is to be armed to have better arguments. To be more persuasive. To win people over with logic and data.

But change isn't logical.

It's social. It's emotional. It's contextual.

In our board meeting, we didn't need better arguments about All-Star selection. Everyone already had strong, well-reasoned positions.

What we needed was a different kind of room where people could safely say what they really wanted, concede in areas without feeling like they were losing, and could trust the process.

That's design work, not debate work.

The same principle applies everywhere:

The shift:

Instead of asking, "How do I convince them?"

Ask: "What conditions would make this the natural next move?"

Then build those conditions:

📌 Mindset shift: Change happens when you design for it, not when you argue for it.

Use this when you're trying to move people—whether it's your team, your audience, or a group you're leading—and the usual approaches aren't working.

Copy + paste into ChatGPT, Claude, or Gemini:

Prompt:
I'm trying to create change but people aren't moving. Help me design better conditions instead of just better arguments.

My situation:

The change I'm trying to create: [describe the behavior, decision, or shift]

Who needs to move: [your audience, team, or stakeholders]

What I've tried so far: [your current approach]

Where I'm stuck: [what's not working]

What people are saying (or not saying): [the resistance or silence you're encountering]

✅ Bonus Prompt:
"What question could I ask that would help me understand what's really stopping people from moving—not what they say is stopping them, but what's actually in the way?"

Here are 3 ways I can help:

And I could really use your help:

Both make a real difference, thank you 🙏

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~ Jaime