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The Conversation You're Missing
How to be a Supercommunicator
Jaime Solis
31 Oct
🎃 It’s Friday Halloween! 🎃
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Some news before we get into it!
Introducing Slackers — a new podcast I’m co-hosting with my longtime friend and fellow builder, Jonathan Sasse.
It’s a weekly, unscripted show for leaders and creators who want to make work better — more productive, more human, and a lot less frustrating.
It launches Tuesday, November 4th, and I can’t wait to share it with you!
You can watch the show trailer here.
"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion it has taken place." — George Bernard Shaw
The Red Thread This Week
The Conversation You're Missing
Earlier this week, members of my team started a Slack thread about improving how we promote our New Music Friday content on social.
One person was talking about systems; new formats, better workflows, fresh creative ideas.
Others were talking about capacity; limited resources, platform restrictions, possible burnout.
All were right. All cared.
But they were having completely different conversations.
One was practical: "How do we make this more effective?"
Another was emotional: "Do you understand how hard we're already working?"
And things started to feel a little tense.
But the timing of this interaction was wild, as I’m fresh off reading Supercommunicators by Charles Duhigg (and I highly recommend you give his book and content a test drive.)
So I was reminded just how critical it is to identify what type of conversation you’re having when you’re actually in the thick of it.
Because most conflicts stem from a misalignment.
One person's talking about logistics. The other's talking about feelings.
One's talking about process. The other's talking about pride.
And until you know which kind of conversation you're actually in, everyone just keeps repeating themselves louder.
As Duhigg points out, we're typically navigating 3 types of conversations:
Practical – solving problems, making plans, logistics
Emotional – being heard, understood, valued
Social – navigating relationships, trust, status
Once we could mark the conversation actually happening within our team, everything shifted.
The tension dissolved. People felt seen.
We moved from "who's right" to "how do we fix this, together.”
And that's the superpower of great communicators.
They know the words matter less than the type of conversation you’re having.
So the Red Thread this week is about recognizing which conversation you're actually in.
How to see it, name it, and deliver your ideas effectively to the people you’re trying to reach.
~ Jaime
🔑 The Unlock
The Supercommunicator Framework
Here’s a framework inspired by Duhigg’s work that’s changed how I run meetings, pitch ideas, and talk to my family.
1️⃣ Name the Conversation Type
Before you respond, identify what's happening:
Practical: "How do we fix this?" → They want action
Emotional: "This is overwhelming" → They need validation
Social: "What will they think?" → They're navigating relationships
The mistake: Treating every conversation like it's practical.
Someone says they're stressed about a project. You list solutions.
But…they didn't ask for solutions; they needed acknowledgment.
The fix: Match first, then move.
"It sounds like you're feeling overwhelmed, is that right? Let's talk about that for a sec, then we can figure out what’s next."
2️⃣ Ask Questions That Matter
Stop asking: "How are you?" "What’s the latest?" "How's business?"
You get: "Fine." "Not much." "Busy."
Ask about values, beliefs, experiences:
"What made you decide to start your own thing?"
"What's been the hardest part so far?"
"What would make this feel less risky for you?"
Deep questions invite real answers. When you ask something meaningful, people naturally tend to share back.
3️⃣ Prove You're Listening
Repeat back what you heard in your own words:
"So what I'm hearing is you're worried that if we move too fast, we'll lose the quality that made people care in the first place. Did I get that right?"
This shows you're not just waiting for your turn to talk. You're trying to understand.
Once someone feels understood, they become exponentially more willing to hear you.
You can disagree and still make them feel heard. That's the only way disagreement doesn't destroy relationships.
4️⃣ Watch for the Mismatch
If you're explaining process and they keep asking about outcomes → Mismatch.
If you're offering solutions and they keep circling back to how hard this is → Mismatch.
The moment you notice, name it:
"I think I've been focused on the how, but it sounds like you need to talk about the why first. Let's do that."
📌 Remember: Communication isn't about being articulate. It's about being in the same conversation.
💡 Creative Edge
A Powerful Question
Most people think communication is about what you say.
It's not. It's about what the other person hears.
Ask yourself: "What does this person actually need from me right now?"
Not what you want to tell them. Not what you think they should hear. What do they need?
Your client doesn't need another new feature. They need to know you understand their problem.
Your team doesn't need another pep talk. They need to know you see how hard they're working.
Your audience doesn't need more content. They need to feel less alone.
The best communicators aren't the most eloquent. They're the most attentive.
They notice when someone leans back. They catch the hesitation before "I'm fine." They hear the question underneath the question.
In practice:
You're pitching. They check their phone. Signal.
You stop. "Actually, let me back up. What's the biggest challenge you're facing right now?"
You're giving feedback. They get defensive. Signal.
You pause. "Before we get into specifics, I want you to know I think you're doing great work. This is about making it even better."
The pattern: Notice the signal. Name what's happening. Adjust.
📌 Mindset shift: Stop trying to be heard. Start trying to understand.
🎲 Prompt Playground
Show Prep for Your Conversations
Use this to prepare for your next conversation before it happens, and uncover whether you're matched.
Copy + paste the prompt below into your AI tool of choice (ChatGPT, Claude, Gemini, etc.) and fill in the blanks.
Prompt:
I have an important conversation coming up. Help me diagnose what's really happening.
The situation:
Who I'm talking to: [person and relationship]
What it's about: [topic]
What I want: [your goal]
What they want: [their goal]
My approach: [what you're planning to say]
Help me see clearly:
First, which conversation type am I planning: practical, emotional, or social?
Second, which type are they likely expecting?
Third, if there's a mismatch, show me how to acknowledge their type first.
Finally, give me three questions to understand what they actually need.
✅ Bonus: "What signals should I watch for that tell me I'm in the wrong conversation type?"
📔 Field Notes
My curated internet this week:
The Case for Letting AI Burn It All Down — WIRED
UMG's New App Pays Influencers to Post About Artists — MBW
AI Bubble: Who Survives the Shakeout w/Sequoia's David Cahn [video] —20VC Podcast
The Best Instagram Content Format for Any Account Size — ICYMI
MLB World Series swings at International fandom — Marketing Brew
In the age of AI sameness, trust drives everything — WARC
🛠️ Creator Tools
💼 Open Opportunities
Associate Manager, Creative Operations – Spotify (NYC) View Role →
Product Activation Lead – YouTube Music (CA/NYC/San Bruno) View Role →
Your next move in Music
Explore the MBW Job Board →
Crack into Podcasting
Check out the Sounds Profitable Job Board →
📌 Know someone looking? Forward this to them!
⚡ Before You Go
Here are 3 ways I can help:
🗓️ Get 1:1 Support from Me: Need a thought partner to help shape what's next for your project or team? Let’s talk.
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Thanks for spending time with Red Threads this week, I’m glad you’re here :)
~ Jaime